i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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