She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
There are leaves in my underwear?
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