half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
this will be a night to untag.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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