yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
