I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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