Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
