either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
