I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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