return my video game
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
