No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
