Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
