one two three fourrrrnication!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Mom said you looked used
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
