Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
