Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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