he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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