his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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