I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
