he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
