i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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