miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
