What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
