dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize