i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
