If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
