Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
