his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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