what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I have aggressive nipples.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
