Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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