All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
