u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
