so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
