We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
