Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
