I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
