we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
