i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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