my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize