I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
