Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Is Oprah even human
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
