I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
