I will die if light touches me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
