I have demons in me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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