You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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