went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
40s are totally the cure
Randomize
