WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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