There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
