if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
