oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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