Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
