Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Is it penis luge time yet?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Randomize
