she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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