Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
