you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
