I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
