She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
