After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize