Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
