Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
