i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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