Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
