HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize