Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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