i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
