4 words: hood of his car
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
