walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize