I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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