It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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