All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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