if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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