the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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