final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
nutella sex= disaster
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
