I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
