I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
