My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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