it wasn't lemon gatorade
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
