I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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