I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
