just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
